By John Kass
Chicago Tribune
http://www.chicagotribune.com/
February 5, 2012
Remember when some 18 percent of Americans thought President Barack Obama was a follower of Islam?
It wasn't true, but it really aggravated Obama's defenders in the media, particularly those militant secularists, and then they cried racism and began pointing their angry fingers.
But now we can put all that to rest because last week, while speaking to some 3,000 pastors at a breakfast, President Obama performed yet another miracle.
He's not only a Christian, but he's been transformed into a Christian fundamentalist.
Obama told the clergy that Jesus Christ would support his policy to increase taxes on those mean philistines who don't suffer unto the poor as the president does.
And I ask you: Who else but a true holy man would ever dare use the Son of God as a rhetorical device to leverage his political opponents?
"I wake up each morning, and I say a brief prayer, and I spend a little time in Scripture and devotion," Obama told the annual gathering of the clergy at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, noting that pastors often stop by or phone him or send him messages so they can pray together.
Right then, if I'd been there, I would have backed away and looked up for darkening clouds and wondered about lightning and ark-building. But they were in a hotel ballroom, and the president was really feeling the spirit.
"I don't stop there. I'd be remiss if I stopped there, if my values were limited to personal moments of prayer or private conversations with pastors or friends," he said. "I must try to make sure that those values motivate me as one leader of this great nation."
See how the presidency transforms a man? Only a few years ago, he had much different views, saying Americans frustrated with the bad economy were religious and "bitter."
"They cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations," reasoned Obama.
You could just hear the old secular Obama thinking about those superstitious fools, making excuses for them, those clodhoppers holding on to their shotguns, then putting on clean clothes Sunday to enter those special buildings.
You know, those special buildings with the crosses on them. Where the clodhoppers gather and kneel and pray to their deity. So sad, how these frightened peasants are compelled to cleave to such comforting rituals, eh?
But that was the Old Obama at a fundraiser, and cameras weren't invited.
The Obama last week was a new man, telling pastors how he prayed each morning, inviting clergy to come on down to the Oval Office. Do you have any idea what the transformed Obama was doing?
Obama the fundamentalist was giving the Republicans some H-E-double-hockey-sticks.
The president knows he can't satisfy everyone. Some will think him cynical. But I remember the light in the eyes of many of my colleagues when he campaigned, how bright and shiny their faces were as they gazed upon him, tingly and full of hope, writing their stories about the transcendent figure before them.
In Washington last week, surely there was that same light in the room, though it would have been really cool if David Axelrod had released a flock of white doves to alight on the president's fingertips, just to close the deal.
Bright light, particularly the TV kind in the hands of masters, erases shadow and doubt. Who wants to hear that his administration told churches what ministers they could hire and fire — a policy recently struck down by a unanimous vote of the Supreme Court.
Or that recent business of Obama's administration telling Roman Catholic hospitals they must provide birth control to their employees — including abortion-inducing drugs called abortifacients.
If they refuse, they'll face Obamanations and fines and the wrath of White House lawyers.
It's probably nasty of me to think in such terms. Especially when there's such a great image on TV, the president embracing the Gospels and using them to increase taxes.
"I actually think that's going to make economic sense," said Obama. "But for me as a Christian, it also coincides with Jesus' teaching that 'for unto whom much is given, much shall be required.'"
Tell it now.
Then he talked about the "biblical call" to help the poor and used that as support of his foreign aid policies. In his public and devout Christian charity, I bet he never once thought that Republican Mitt Romney was vulnerable there, given Romney's stupid gaffe that he cared about the middle class and less about the poor.
Not everyone was thrilled with the president. Republican Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch became upset.
"Someone needs to remind the president that there was only one person who walked on water and he did not occupy the Oval Office," said Hatch from the Senate floor. "I think most Americans would agree that the Gospels are concerned with weightier matters than effective tax rates."
Really? I'm no theologian, so I can't say. But Obama has already performed miracles.
The earnest but inexperienced back bencher from the Illinois Legislature came out of Chicago politics, washed himself of Tony Rezko, proclaimed himself a reformer and was elected president of the United States.
Higher taxes are a miracle well within his grasp.
jskass@tribune.com
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