By John Kass
The Chicago Tribune
http://www.chicagotribune.com/
9:29 p.m. CDT, March 16, 2010
Not even three or four pipes full of Hopium could have convinced me that the Congress of the United States would ever start looking like the Chicago City Council.But now, with the Chicago Way White House twisting arms for its federal health care legislation, Democrats in Congress and Chicago aldermen are beginning to share a remarkable resemblance.
They're starting to look like fall guys.
"The Congress? They're acting like aldermen. Like fall guys. And we know all about fall guys in the city of Chicago," said Jim Laski, a former Chicago alderman and former federal inmate who is now a WGN radio talk show host.
Laski was an alderman for years, representing the 23rd Ward on the Southwest Side. We met centuries ago, when he was a political aide and I was a new reporter.
I felt bad for his family when Laski, who'd climbed to the job of city clerk, was convicted on corruption charges. But he made the choice to take the money. He admitted taking $48,000 from a family friend.
He did his time without complaint. He apologized to his family and constituents. And he learned that in federal custody, one of the most valuable commodities is a pouch of tuna.
"It's the protein. The weightlifters like it," Laski said. "They call it a ‘can' of tuna. As in, ‘You want this, or that, it'll cost two cans.' But it's really a vacuum-packed pouch of tuna. Why do they call it a can? Don't ask me."
Unlike others who talk about politics, he's actually done it. And as we stood outside the Tribune Tower on Tuesday after he'd done a show, we didn't discuss the merits of the president's plan. We were talking about the tactics.
"These congressmen are starting to understand what it's like in Chicago, with the Chicago guys running the White House. They (the Democrats) have to know they're the fall guys," Laski said. "Otherwise, why would they so desperate to keep their fingerprints off the health care thing?"
Things are looking more Chicago in Washington all the time.
In Chicago, the mayor gets what he wants, and the mayor's friends get what they want. And the aldermen? They get the ridicule and the blame.
If the president gets what he desires — a health care victory — then Congress will pay for it in the midterm elections in November, and they know it.
The proof is in that latest congressional trick announced on Tuesday, a ploy so weaselly that it could have been hatched by Chicago politicians.
House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer of Maryland is now talking about allowing his members to pass the president's health care package — whatever's in it exactly, no one really knows — without a direct up-or-down vote on the current bill.
"It's consistent with the rules," Hoyer was quoted as saying on Tuesday. "It's consistent with former practice."
Consistent with the rules? Perhaps, but it sure isn't what President Barack Obama promised when he was talking like a reformer.
Democrats in the Congress want to appease the president and his crew, but they don't want the federal health vote tied to their necks for the November midterm elections. Their constituents don't want it and they've said so, loudly.
So Democrats in Congress desire a rhetorical out. With the Hoyer plan, they can say they support the health care package and then tell their constituents they didn't vote for it, exactly.
Their only trouble is that now, the entire country is watching.
"They've got to do something," Laski said. "The president wants the vote now. He doesn't want the Congress going back home, talking to their constituents. Their knees are already wobbling. If you've been in a legislative body, you can see what's going on. They want to get it done."
But what is it exactly that they want to get done? No one seems to know exactly, except that it will cost a trillion dollars we don't have, and force an increase in taxes and fees in years to come. There's talk that Congress will fix the bill, but only after it becomes law. And if you believe they'll revisit it, then just fill yourself another pipe of Hopium.
"This whole health care thing is Chicago," Laski said.
Except, that in Chicago, the mayor's guy doesn't meet you naked in the shower to twist your arm. It's just not done.
"But in Chicago, you're an alderman and the mayor's guy comes in your office, drops a legislative package on your desk, and then says, ‘You vote ‘yes' on this tomorrow, OK?'
"You haven't read it, you really don't know who's going to make a score, there are no real details, but you're expected to vote for it.
"The same thing with health care in Washington. Who knows what's really in it? Nobody. But the president's guys tell the congressmen, ‘You vote on this or else.' It's called arm-twisting but it's really arm-breaking. That's the Chicago Way."
Obviously, this isn't exactly what the president promised while campaigning, promising to transcend the broken politics of the past.
This is the broken politics of the past.
So get those Hopium pipes ready. It might look like Washington. But after a few puffs, it'll start looking more Chicago every day.
jskass@tribune.com
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